"This is the tragic story of a friend of mine, around the age of 15 living in Najaf, Iraq.
In Iraq, especially in the city of Najaf, we don't possess this concept of casually talking to boys as friends, if we do take part in something like that, we are subject to shunning, discrimination and denunciation by our families. It's simply not done. This phenomena became more and more strict after the 2003 invasion, when Iraq, once secular, was drowned by a veil of religious sectarianism as a form of identity. At this time it is not and it was not seen as okay for a women and a man to talk without the permission of their parents, or the intention of getting married.
This friend of mine, let's refer to her as Sara. Sara somehow managed to get hold of a boy's number, she never told us how or why, but she managed to do it regardless. They would text daily, and since we in Iraq use credit as a method of making calls, he would send her credit to text him or call him. However, they would never physically meet.
One day, two or three weeks after they started talking, he told her to meet him on a side road a near enough to her house to know where it was, but far enough from it so that her family would not know what was going on. And because the general society of Iraq became increasingly restraining on women, due to the dangers of war and terrorist threats, women posses this craving of rebellion against that 'imprisonment'. So she did it. She wanted to see what she was missing out on. Because this girl hasn't had contact with other males, or taught about the dangers that come with meeting males alone, rape or assault, she did it. All these subjects are taboo in Najaf, so she thought 'what's the worst that could happen?' and went ahead with meeting him.
He met up with her, making her feel all empowered and in control of herself; finally being able to be "free". They went around in his car, driving around Najaf, along the river; all the while she felt happy and content. He then took her to his house-not his house, sorry, a random empty building. I'm not sure which one, or where, but it was an empty building. You can all guess what happened next. Yes, he raped her. He didn't leave her there though, he took her back to her home (as if that made it any better) and told her not to tell anyone because in the end if she did, it would be her name that would be shamed not his.
Sara was traumatized, she did not know what had just happened to her. All she knew was that she was in immense pain and agony. She was not aware of the safety precautions to be taken, and she was not aware that she had basically been sexually assaulted and abused. And even if she were, it wouldn't make a difference because the blame would be placed on her for being 'stupid enough to have contact with men'.
Her parents eventually found out, and instead of being comforting and assuring the poor girl that it was not her fault, and that they would protect her, they shunned her. They were more concerned with their place in and how they were seen by society to even make an effort to do anything except tell her how she had disgraced the family. Sara was not allowed to continue her education and was forcefully married off at the age of 15 to a man much older than her.
I'm telling this story because Sara is one of many women that have suffered the same fate. I'm not saying that women should go around naked hanging out and hooking up with random men all the time, I'm saying that restraining women to this extent is dangerous for the women. We think we are protecting them but in reality, were only subjecting them to further pain and discrimination. It's easy to look past these issues and claim them as simply a side effect of war, but we shouldn't. These women are oppressed, and not just the western version of the word. This is a subject which is constantly avoided when Middle Easterners discuss their countries and this should not be the case any longer." - Anonymous, Iraq
